perih.

Vierra – Perih

Dirimu…
tak pernah menyadari
semua…
yang telah kau miliki
kau buang aku, tinggalkan diriku
kau… hancurkan aku seakan ku tak pernah ada
*courtesy of LirikLaguIndonesia.net
Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih… walau perih…

salahkah…
aku terlalu cinta
berharap..
semua kan kembali
kau buang aku,tinggalkan diriku
kau.. hancurkan aku
seakan ku tak pernah ada

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih… walau perih…

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih…

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih… walau perih…
walau perih….walau perih…



thanks reza briliano..

heart says

kadang gue ga ngerti knp gue sering brantem sama dia
apa karna ga ccok,ga jdoh,atau maksain keadaan pun gue ga ngerti.
dsaat qta lagi brntem,brntemnya uda kaya org mau perang bnr2 antagonis.
tapi klo uda bae,becanda2 lagi seakan2 uda lupa ada masalah.
tp jujur klo mnrt hati gue,gue ngrasa klo trkdang gue slalu mksain keadaan.
maksain keadaan supaya ini dan itu.
ya cntoh kecilnya aja,mksain keadaan klo gue itu yg paling bnar.
gue akuin sifat gue bnr2 ga bisa terduga bgt,kdg gue bisa keliatan dewasa bgt and then klo gue lagi bad mood dan uda mulain labil sifat bner2 kaya anak kecil nya gue kuar.
dan akhirnya,org yg gue syang yg kena imbasnya.
trkdang gue juga ga mau untuk ngomong ini itu yg bisa bikin tmbah runyam suasana
cman gue juga ga ngerti knp gue ga bisa cntrol emosi gue.
gue itu type org yg "semakin lu lawan semakin gila"
jd klo gue uda ngrasa diri gue bnr bgt gue pasti ga akan brhenti ngmg
smape org itu ngaku salah.
mungkin sifat gue yg itu ada baik nya dan ada bnernya juga,
tergantung dimana dan gimana posisi dan keadaannya.
cman gue itu orgnya melancolis abis,
klo gue uda ga bisa marah (ngomel2 blablabla) gue pasti akan.. nangis.
itu titik kelemahan gue,bnr2 hal yg sering gue sesalin bgt.
klo gue uda mau nangis,itu adalah saat tersulit karna gue bkal susah setengah mati buat nahan air mata itu smpe ga jadi jatoh tp akhirnya msti jatoh juga.
gue sangat ga suka airmata apalagi klo airmata itu kluar karna hal2 yg sebenernya akan useless buat dikeluarin.
pernah ga sih lu ngrasa ga dianggep sm org?alias ga dipeduliin?
itu yg paling sering gue rsain actually.
dan itu juga jadi hal yg paling gue benci,
ketika kita mngharapkan respon,kepedulian,caring dr seseorg
tapi trnyata ujungnya cman something useless.itu yg lebih buat gue smakin labil.
dan dalam hal memaksakan keadaan ga hanya soal sifat gue,
tapi juga msalah sayang,cinta lebih tepatnya.
pernah dngr dng lagu nya ada band? "karena wanita ingin dimengerti"?
yes.of course. its really including me. i am a girl. and i want to be perceptibly.
gue perempuan biasa yg pnya batas sabar.
gue sangat ga suka di bentak,apalagi dikasarin.
tp kayanya bentakan itu ga pernah bsa hilang dari hidup gue.
gue sayang banget sama pacar gue ga peduli apapun dia.
tapi,gue rasa terkadang rasa sayang yg gue kasih itu terlalu berlebihan
ada hal yg lebih sulit lagi gue cntrol di diri gue,yaitu..
buat cntrol perasaan cinta gue ke dia.
mungkin cinta itu ga bleh ngmgnin soal pengorbanan ya.krn penorbanan itu kan harus ikhlas.
tp,gue juga btuh pengakuan,bhwa paling ga di appreciate apa uda gue lakuin dgn kelakuan dia ke gue.
dgn nunjukin klo paling ga ya peduli sama gue.
sedikit aja.
peduli sama hati gue.cman itu.
i wish someday he'll care about me.
dan satu hal lagi..
za,klo someday km bca blog aku ini,i just wanna say that
whatever ur problem i am your only girl who really care and love u more than anything.
just me.
i hope someday you'll realize and do the same things like i do to you.
maybe i cant be the one who can accompany u as well but i never stop trying to do my best beb..


jst only 3 words
and those words its really worth for me if you say it by ur mouth and from ur heart.
i love you..

stranger.

2years
3months
23 days
we've been together.
but now,its only a part of my life.like the past.

thanks.
its being a pleasure to know a guy like you.

and also thanks for making me soo speechless like this ;))
thanks for call me stranger in ur life.
i'll never forget it.lol

you DID it (again)

this story is the intermediate from the last story "its killing me softly" that i wrote at 24th august.
hmm. first im really speechless.
and all i do after im speechless,im laughing soo LOUD.
and then my tears began to running down again.
i dont know exactly for many times i did it.
crying its like my mutual habit.
second usually things that i always do beside angry.
its really2 tired you know why?
you've made promises and you brake it again and so on.
its sucks. and silly.
how i describe this feeling?im become numb.insane.
and dont how easier you did that too me (i dont know for many times).
how it look so easy when you brake my heart into pieces again.
i really want to hate you and then throw you like a rubbish.(as you always do to me.)
but i cant and it looks so dumb.
everything that i do,it dont make sense in your eyes.
u gives me pain and it feelings like hell.
i always try to give you chance but you throw it.
i always try to begin to trust you,but?see?what you've done?
i really want to runaway so far away.
i really want to sleep until this pain fade away with the time goes by.

as i always told you, do everything like today its your last day in this world,bcos you'll never know when the times will stop. do something before its too late,and all you'll get only regretful then. just wait the karma will comes.

so thanks for being my 'lifeteacher'
i've learned so much things from you.
and i'll never forget about everything that you've done to me.

i believe that God always have so much ways for those who always waiting patiently.
i believe in God ways,
who always giving the best,and always will be perfect at the right time.

miracle.

kadang gue ngrasa hidup itu ga adil.
yes,thats the truth.
life is never fair.
whyy??
bnyak hal gue pengen di dlm hdup gue,dan itu yg adalah 'hak' gue tp gue ga bsa dapetin itu.
bnyak hal yg gue mau lakuin di hidup gue tapi karna 'keterbatasan' ini itu gue ga bsa nglakuin itu.
kadang gue bner2 ga ngerti knapa.
bukannya gue ga brsyukur sm apa yg uda gue dapet.
gue sngat bsyukur.
tp kadang,ada hal2 yg ngbuat gue bner2 ngrasa hdup itu ga adil.
dan skrang gue rasa proses pembelajaran gue ttg hdup meningkat.
gue skrg lebih 'nyerahin' semuanya sama Tuhan
karna gue yakin rencana Dia selalu ada alasan yg pasti itu bakal jadi yg terbaik buat kita,
dulu ada org yg ngomong gini ma gue..

"kan Tuhan blg, burung di udara Tuhan beri makan, rumput di padang pun Tuhan plihara, apalagi kita yg uda diangkat jd AnakNya,jd itu yg ngbuat gue ga pernah takut akan hari esok karna gue yakin rencana Tuhan selalu indah pada waktuNya..."

Thanks God.
aku akan lebih belajar buat lebih bersyukur lagi atas smua yg uda aku dapet.
and i always believing in Your miracle God..

its killing me softly.

beberapa jem yg lalu co gue telpon dgn nada serius.

R : "yank,aq ada permintaan,tp km jgn marah ya,klo km marah aku ga jd ngomong.."
J :".....napa?..."(serius aga jutek)
R :"tuh kan blum ngomong aja km uda bete,ga jd ahh.."
J :"aq ga bete yank,,km ngomong aja..."
R :"gini beb,boleh ga aq buka facebook lagi?tp tanpa harus ijin dlu ke kamu..klo ga boleh gapapakok,aq juga bakal macem2 lagi,klo aq ketauan add2 cewe ato gmn2 km boleh putusin aku kok..boleh ga?"
J :"....."
R :"ga bolee yaaa?"
J :"........(SPEACHLESS)"

pulsa abis dan akhirnya kita pun smsan.

R :"km gausah bahas2 ttg yg tadi aku ngomong.aq tau itu ga akan mungkin terjadi kok ke aku."
gue bales:
"aku nanya ma km,jadinya skrg km klo buka fb bilang dlu apa ga?"
dia bales hal yg sama kaya diatas.
akhirnya dgn agak lebay gue ngomong gini:
"aku ga mau km ga bahagia pacaran ma aku. sekarangpun klo km mau aku pegi buat tglin km biar km bhagya aku juga mau."
dan dengan romantis nya (tp aga nyebelin juga sihh) dia bles:
"km gila suru km pegi?mana mungkin sih km satu2nya harta yg aku punya,ga mungkin aku tglin km sayang. aq cm sayang ma km walaupun kadang kesel tp aku ttp sayang bgt ma km beb.."

wew.
well,what happen to him today?
not like usual.


tiba2 dia sms lagi dan bilang:

"beda knp c beb?aq cm mau kita open minded aja.qta uda gede,klo ada apa2 yg ga disuka mending ngomong dan ngmgin bae2 jgn pake emosi,aq mau kita sma2 tnangin emosi satu sama lain.gmana?"

makin beda aja nih org.
(i'll shout it once again)
what happen to him??!!

hmmm,
mungkin kalian yg kalo baca tulisan gue yg ini pasti mikir nya gue yg aneh,ga kasih co gue kebebasan,terlalu posesiv,atau apalah.
but guys,you dont know what happened to me at the past.

you dont know how it hurts so much if someone that you love 'doing something' behind your back.
its hard for me to trusting someone,especially for someone who had disapointed me (not just once).

its like a traumatic for me,i dont wanna feel that sucks feelin anymore.its like hell!
i got u lied to me not just once beb,but its like usual things you always do.
but,in another side,i want to give you happiness too.
i dont want to make you hurt or not comfort to having a relationship with me.
but,to give you my trust again its really hard for me.

i always give you chances,but you throw it.
i always save your promise,but you ignored it.

i don't know how i will survive if you always do that things to me.
its killing me softly,baby.

gravity

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I
Can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're onto me, onto me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long