its killing me softly.

beberapa jem yg lalu co gue telpon dgn nada serius.

R : "yank,aq ada permintaan,tp km jgn marah ya,klo km marah aku ga jd ngomong.."
J :".....napa?..."(serius aga jutek)
R :"tuh kan blum ngomong aja km uda bete,ga jd ahh.."
J :"aq ga bete yank,,km ngomong aja..."
R :"gini beb,boleh ga aq buka facebook lagi?tp tanpa harus ijin dlu ke kamu..klo ga boleh gapapakok,aq juga bakal macem2 lagi,klo aq ketauan add2 cewe ato gmn2 km boleh putusin aku kok..boleh ga?"
J :"....."
R :"ga bolee yaaa?"
J :"........(SPEACHLESS)"

pulsa abis dan akhirnya kita pun smsan.

R :"km gausah bahas2 ttg yg tadi aku ngomong.aq tau itu ga akan mungkin terjadi kok ke aku."
gue bales:
"aku nanya ma km,jadinya skrg km klo buka fb bilang dlu apa ga?"
dia bales hal yg sama kaya diatas.
akhirnya dgn agak lebay gue ngomong gini:
"aku ga mau km ga bahagia pacaran ma aku. sekarangpun klo km mau aku pegi buat tglin km biar km bhagya aku juga mau."
dan dengan romantis nya (tp aga nyebelin juga sihh) dia bles:
"km gila suru km pegi?mana mungkin sih km satu2nya harta yg aku punya,ga mungkin aku tglin km sayang. aq cm sayang ma km walaupun kadang kesel tp aku ttp sayang bgt ma km beb.."

wew.
well,what happen to him today?
not like usual.


tiba2 dia sms lagi dan bilang:

"beda knp c beb?aq cm mau kita open minded aja.qta uda gede,klo ada apa2 yg ga disuka mending ngomong dan ngmgin bae2 jgn pake emosi,aq mau kita sma2 tnangin emosi satu sama lain.gmana?"

makin beda aja nih org.
(i'll shout it once again)
what happen to him??!!

hmmm,
mungkin kalian yg kalo baca tulisan gue yg ini pasti mikir nya gue yg aneh,ga kasih co gue kebebasan,terlalu posesiv,atau apalah.
but guys,you dont know what happened to me at the past.

you dont know how it hurts so much if someone that you love 'doing something' behind your back.
its hard for me to trusting someone,especially for someone who had disapointed me (not just once).

its like a traumatic for me,i dont wanna feel that sucks feelin anymore.its like hell!
i got u lied to me not just once beb,but its like usual things you always do.
but,in another side,i want to give you happiness too.
i dont want to make you hurt or not comfort to having a relationship with me.
but,to give you my trust again its really hard for me.

i always give you chances,but you throw it.
i always save your promise,but you ignored it.

i don't know how i will survive if you always do that things to me.
its killing me softly,baby.